You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles.

Tigers love pepper...they hate cinnamon.

Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.

I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.

I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.

My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by my shoe strings.

That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger, ” said Snape coolly. “Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all.

Be stronger than your excuses.

We might feel we have achieved a lot. . just take a pause and look back. . We will see only darkness....

drowning in a sea of logicthis monstrous state of palsy

My cat's fully capable of speaking, but he says he's afraid of me turning it into a Kevin James vehicle.

You know I have about the same interest in jewelry as I have in politics, horse racing, modern poetry, and women who need weird excitement – none.

I still haven't made a film that defines who I am.

Millions of mind guerrillas, raising the spirit of peace and love, not war.

Many words befall men, mean and noble alike; do not be astonished by them, nor allow yourself to be constrained.

What a lot of things there are a man can do without.