You have to get rid of characters to make room for new ones, but you also have to recognize when things are done.

When I left school I was full of angst, like any teenager, and I channeled it all into comedy.

It's very likely that graduates, current employees and retirees have some wonderful pieces of Deer Park history in their closets or garages.

The most useful form of time travel would be to go back a year or two and rectify the mistakes we made.

Keep yourself busy if you want to avoid depression. For me, inactivity is the enemy.

What fun is life without a bit of showing off?

People see my impressions as a great skill and I am flattered, but there are things I can't do that everyone else can. I can do funny voices and funny faces but I can't drive.

I finally learned to love myself by dressing up as Geri Halliwell.

It's important to hold something back, though, because quite frankly my personal life is pretty dull and I don't want to bore people with it.

If the worst that happens is that I wake up and see a picture of myself and a headline saying, 'He wasn't very funny last night', then I've got nothing to complain about.

Comedians don't have a monopoly on suffering. But creative people are sometimes fortunate enough to be able to incorporate their most traumatic experiences into their art.

My feet is my only carriage.

The worst drug of today is not smack or pot - it's refined sugar.

Remember God more often than you breathe.

In Baby You're A Rich Man the point was, stop moaning, you're a rich man and we're all rich, heh heh, baby!

Well, I believe in God. I taught Sunday school.

I don't subscribe to relativism, whether it's in political philosophy, foreign policy or in life.

Solidarity is not an act of charity, but mutual aid between forces fighting for the same objective.

You know if they said kindness or funniness was really most important to them then they will be more likely to say yes to the person that they thought was kind and funny.

The opposite of love is indifference, and the opposite of happiness is boredom.

I...Kisss the tender inward of thy hand.