You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning.

I'm what is known as perimenopausal. "Peri", some of you may know, is a Latin prefix meaning 'SHUT YOUR FLIPPIN' PIE HOLE'.

I'd sooner wear white shoes in February, drink unsweetened tea, and eat Miracle Whip instead of Duke's than utter the words 'you guys'.

Writing humor is not something every single person can do.

And I reminded myself that it's easy to be grateful for the obvious blessings in life, much harder to be grateful for the tough moments and the lessons they teach.

Who can fail to mist at Fergie's anthem, 'My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps.' Hmmm. 'My lunch, my lunch, I swear it's coming up.

She appears to have a face that would stop a clock and raise hell with small watches, bless her heart.

Above all, avoid falsehood, every kind of falsehood, especially falseness to yourself. Watch over your own deceitfulness and look into it every hour, every minute.

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

Justice and equity are twin Guardians that watch over men. From them are revealed such blessed and perspicuous words as are the cause of the well-being of the world and the protection of the nations.

California, more than any other part of the Union, is a country by itself, and San Francisco a capital.

I don't walk around talking about my life and spouting my philosophy to people I don't know. I mean, if I get to know them, I'll talk for hours. I guess I like a lower-key scene.

I can reach the mass audience if I come from different perspectives on every song.

My first love is writing and producing. So I sometimes put my own stuff off to work on other people's projects.

Awareness of ignorance is the beginning of wisdom.

I grew up with the television product being old Western serials like Roy Rogers, and John Wayne and Gary Cooper, and many others were my favorites when I was a young person going to films.

Movie distribution may very well have migrated fully to digital form by then, making a huge dent in the need to print film and physically distribute content.