Yes, sir, thank you, sir, and I wouldn’t trust me one little inch, sir. I knows a bad one when I sees them. I have a mirror.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

You ought to explore, search and seek the boundless possibilities in life.

Adjusting our mindset for success is always at least half the battle. In the case of overcoming our fears, rather than being overcome by them, - it is 99% a war waged in our own head.

I don't like going out. I hate clubs. I hate being around too many people. I love my home and staying in bed and watching Dancing With the Stars or reading a Danielle Steel novel. I'm kind of boring.

I would love to see no more ghettos but the things is, there's no diplomacy in the ghetto. They want to tell you something, they tell you straight!

Walk with the dead For fear of death.

I have found that living with faith in an unseen world requires constant effort.

To be associated with success is absolutely wonderful.

And I think more than anything else, I know when I go to bed that no one's working harder doing what I'm doing, and I think, quite frankly, simply that hard work at some point was gonna pay off.

Beware the beast, but enjoy the feast he offers.

The man who can master his time can master nearly anything.