Writing this book required an enormous amount of help from friends. To them goes the credit. I'll take the money.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Love can be unselfish, in the sense of being benevolent and generous, without being selfless.

I crave my mom's Sloppy Joes.

Nothing was ever accomplished by anyone who said 'It can't be done.'

Preparedness never caused a war and unpreparedness never prevented one.

I love him who maketh his virtue his inclination and destiny: thus, for the sake of his virtue, he is willing to live on, or live no more.

We feel it's necessary to reduce accommodation.

There are a lot of bad worship songs, in my opinion, but there are a lot of good ones, too

Your associates can be priceless.

Art is a car, kitsch is a horse.

It's not just modern-day society that is liberal.