Why aren't you signed up for the 401K? I'd never be able to run that far.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

The tragedy of love is in its ending, the blessing—everything else. No love ever deserves to end.

I was in New York and I walked into this pet store and came out with a dog.

When I sit down to write a novel, I am exploring my own relationship with God, with the struggle between good and evil, my own purpose.

For a man to know what he has when he had it, that is what makes him a fortunate man.

Don't fight a battle if you don't gain anything by winning.

Just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts.

It may be concluded that a pure democracy . . . can admit no cure for the mischiefs of faction.

Sometimes I would like the opportunity to do character-driven comedy and that's really what I was trying to do in Meet The Parents. I think in a way this is a more old fashioned type of comedy.

That was my challenge as a composer. Like with anything, to keep yourself interested in doing what you do, you set yourself challenges. So I said, Okay, I'll try to write a hundred tunes in a year.

Nature is what you don't have to trouble about. It looks after itself.