While it is entirely untrue that Canadians lack a sense of humour, the funniest ones tend to head south: Dan Aykroyd, Jim Carrey, Michael J. Fox.

I know of no wars started by anyone to impose lack of religion on someone else.

Fish have water, the bushmen of the Kalahari have sand, and Houstonians have interior décor.

I know of no wars started by anyone to impose lack of religion on someone else. We have lethal Sunni v Shia, Catholic against Protestant, but no agnostic suicide bombers attack crowded atheist pubs.

The formal Washington dinner party has all the spontaneity of a Japanese imperial funeral.

A British lawyer would like to think of himself as part of that mysterious entity called The Law; an American lawyer would like a swimming pool and two houses.

Living in New York is like being at some terrible late-night party. You're tired, you've had a headache since you arrived, but you can't leave because then you'd miss the party.

I've served on five different juries, and many of them were bonkers in their own way.

Most successful American politicians look well-fed on endorsements, campaign contributions and chicken dinners.

Canada is not so much a country as a clothesline nearly 4,000 miles long. St John's in Newfoundland is closer to Milan, Italy than to Vancouver.

The nanny seemed to be extinct until 1975, when, like the coelacanth, she suddenly and unexpectedly reappeared in the shape of Margaret Thatcher.

The best comedy on earth shows up when an immoral person talks about the morals!

I have been president of the Indian Kabbadi Association, and likewise, I have been associated with various other sports as well.

Is it not hard that even those who are with us should be against us - that a man's enemies, in some degree, should be those of the same household of faith? Yet so it is.

Things don't have to change the world to be important.

One's fantasy goes for a walk and returns with a bride.

Writing just for the hell of it is heaven.

For to be possessed of a vigorous mind is not enough; the prime requisite is rightly to apply it.

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

My first big heartbreak proved to me that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.