When you watch Robin Williams, you can see a lot of Jonathan Winters. Robin is the first one to admit that; he worshiped Jonathan Winters.

I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things.

A man goes to the doctor for a check, and the doctor exams him and says I've got bad news, you've got cancer and alzheimers. The man goes Thank god I don't have cancer.

I was talking to Jesus, and I said, Jesus, I feel like no one will ever accept me. And Jesus looked at me and said, You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.

I just don't accept midgets as human beings. There's only so much political correctness I can accept.

I would show up at a party for Al Qaeda if you said there's going to be a dinner.

Every time I give a straight answer and read it in a magazine, I say, 'Ouch.' One day I'd like to talk to a psychoanalyst about why celebrities reveal so much of themselves in interviews.

Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have the best eye for retail, either.

If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.

I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching.

I'm known for my slightly inappropriate remarks.

My flute, M. Poirot, is my oldest companion. When everything else fails, music remains.

Every woman was once a little girl with big dreams. Believe in yourself and never quit dreaming!

If you are thinking today is nothing to do for me then there is some laziness in your mind and you don’t try to elaborate your thinking for future.

Thinking about women who can't have their own baby, even the first baby, I'm really lucky.

Christmas is a box of tree ornaments that have become part of the family.

All things radiate forth an intense aliveness.

Sweet are the thoughts that savor of content: the quiet mind is richer than a crown.

The area of teenage life is not necessarily rarefied; we've all gone through that period. It's not as rarefied as a western or a space adventure or a gangster film, but it has its own dynamic.

Is the labyrinth living or dying?

Our task is not to leave a record of what happened on this date for those who will inherit the Earth; history will take care of that.