When I stub my toe it's like I pressed a button that plays all the curse words I know.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

I loved her in spite of myself. I loved her immeasurably.Infinitely. And I feared that love as much as I feared my own fury at theworld.

Intent is what sends a shaman through a wall, through space, to infinity.

Some of the best advice I've had comes from junior officers and enlisted men.

Go over to Greece with the Iliad and Odyssey. These have elements of history, and they have non-historical elements. It's very difficult to pull them apart. And I think there's not much reason to.

The thousand mysteries around us would not trouble but interest us, if only we had cheerful, healthy hearts.

Without obsession, life is nothing.

People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along?

I like ... what I characterize as more built-to-last ideas rather than built-to-flip ideas.

Even as a little seed, I could see his plan for me. Stranded on welfare, another broken family.

I'm not Dauntless - I'm Divergent. I am whatever I choose to be.