What's real? What's not? That's what I do in my act, test how other people deal with reality.

I see the world as an illusion, and we shouldn't take ourselves so seriously

As they say in my country, the only thing that separates us from the animals is mindless superstition and pointless ritual.

There's no way to describe what I do. It's just me.

I never told a joke in my life.

My mother sent me to psychiatrists since the age of four because she didnt think little boys should be sad. When my brother was born, I stared out the window for days. Can you imagine that?

When I perform, it's very personal. I'm sharing things I like, inviting the audience into my room.

The critics try to intellectualize my material. There's no satire involved. Satire is a concept that can only be understood by adults. My stuff is straight, for people of all ages.

I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut - or get angry from the gut.

Theres no drama like wrestling.

That was part of the whole original concept. We were thinking, it's off-season, let's do a really fun, local-oriented event, raise money for good causes and bring some music to the valley.

She chose the attractive room, not noticing the cloven hoof exposed beneath the ornate curtains. That decision has surely haunted her every day since, finally catching up to her.

God is a lot of things to a lot of people but I don’t think he is a cheap party host with limited grace to give out.

You won't reach anywhere... if you lie!

Bottomless wonders spring from simple rules, which are repeated without end.

I am built close to the ground and of extravagant body.

My decision to become a lawyer was irrevocably sealed when I realized my father hated the legal profession.

Playing with decks, for me, has always been about trying new things. I make it a point to keep trying different things, keep pushing it a little bit at a time.

Few men who have liberated themselves from the fear of God and the fear of death are yet able to liberate themselves from the fear of man.

I played music practically my entire life. But the first time I ever really played music was with John and Robby and Jim That's where it happened. it was an epiphany, a moment of profound clarity

Most of teachers have but one object, viz. to draw their salary. I do not think that a teacher should have no salary. But I think they should earn it first and then think of it.