I never told a joke in my life.

What's real? What's not? That's what I do in my act, test how other people deal with reality.

I see the world as an illusion, and we shouldn't take ourselves so seriously

As they say in my country, the only thing that separates us from the animals is mindless superstition and pointless ritual.

There's no way to describe what I do. It's just me.

My mother sent me to psychiatrists since the age of four because she didnt think little boys should be sad. When my brother was born, I stared out the window for days. Can you imagine that?

When I perform, it's very personal. I'm sharing things I like, inviting the audience into my room.

The critics try to intellectualize my material. There's no satire involved. Satire is a concept that can only be understood by adults. My stuff is straight, for people of all ages.

I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut - or get angry from the gut.

Theres no drama like wrestling.

That was part of the whole original concept. We were thinking, it's off-season, let's do a really fun, local-oriented event, raise money for good causes and bring some music to the valley.

People are priceless. A chance meeting with a loving human being was worth more than any amount of money in the world. I felt rich.

One works hard to prop up an illusion that sucks the life out of them, and the other works hard to make their home a place that restores them, nurtures them, and gives life to others.

The global financial crisis - missed by most analysts - shows that most forecasters are poor at pricing in economic/financial risks, let alone geopolitical ones.

At times they don't like you to kick them and they feel you're not allowed to kick them.

How hollow is the heart of man, and how full of excrement!

Sometimes a shock to the system is a good thing, you know? Like a reminder that you're alive.

I just happened to have enough time to be able to take other parts between those first few Twilight films. But it wasn't about proving to people that I had something else to give.

Facts are stubborn things, but, as some one has wisely said, not half so stubborn as fallacies.

When our minds really catch hold of the significance of Jesus' atonement, the world's hold on us loosens.

Talent imitates, genius steals.