Wearing a hat implies that you are bald if you are a man and that your hair is dirty if you are a woman.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Life as we know it is our perception of reality.

I felt as though a large knot of flames had been lit in my stomach, making me feel nauseous and excited all at once

I deeply believe in pluralism. I believe in the close proximity of multiple systems or agnostic systems.

He saw the girl watching him and he smiled at her. It was an old smile that he had been using for fifty years, ever since he first smiled.

If you are a man, Winston, you are the last man.

I would say that when you have a big dream or you're trying to solve a big problem, there will always be people who tell you that you can't. Here's my advice: don't listen.

I'm trying to suggest a kind of Middle Earth, in Tolkien terms. It's a contiguous world; it's like ours but different.

Ideas are useless unless used. The proof of their value is in their implementation. Until then, they are in limbo.

The essence of greatness is the ability to choose personal fulfillment in circumstances where others choose madness.

It's all very well to tell us to forgive our enemies; our enemies can never hurt us very much. But oh, what about forgiving our friends?