WHERE'S MY COW? ARE YOU MY COW?

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

We want order and security, and we want liberty. And we want not only liberty but equality as well.

My life will always have dirty dishes. If this sink can become a place of contemplation, let me learn constancy here.

A vigorous democracy a democracy in which there are freedom from want, freedom from fear, freedom of religion, and freedom of speech would never succumb to communism or any other ism.

Oh Lord, I thank Thee that I can bring these people Thy Word. But Lord, there are other villages back in the jungle where no white man has gone. They need Jesus, too. Help me reach them!

There are too many people around keeping me grounded to go off the rails. I'm my own person.

There is no other way to guard yourself against flattery than by making men understand that telling you the truth will not offend you.

The dirty little secret, folks, is Obama is not only for occupying Wall Street. He also wants to occupy Main Street.

Spiritual blossoming simply means blossoming in life in all dimensions - being happy, at ease with yourself and with everybody around you.

I’ll admit it to you now, and to anyone, anytime. I need you, Elise. I love you. You are mine. My woman, my mate, my beloved. My everything.

When I was on stage with the Spice Girls, I thought people were there to see the other four and not me.