Used a replica gun to steal a replica sportscar and experienced a replica of remorse

A hundred percent of marriages end in divorce, disappearance or death.

A sniper is like a genius - it’s not enough to be one, you have to be one at something.

One thing you’ll say for skeletons, they’ll always give you a smile.

The optimist sees the future as a rabbit sees the oncoming truck - getting bigger, not closer.

In America, fundamentalist Christians believe the world was created 6,000 years ago - in England people drink in bars that are older than that.

Biting enemies seems to be acceptable in a surprisingly narrow range of circumstances, or so a ninja shouted at me once

We have truth in order not to die of art.

He has been positively growing tusks trying to create a breed of human insect which will continue to live on this accursed planet. Everyone needs a goal.

Dreams always end before you kill the last person.

Fractal litigation, whereby the flapping of a butterfly’s wings on one side of the world resulted in a massive compensation claim on the other.

Start every day by making a list of all the experiences you will fill your day with and make an effort.

Be patient with those who can't see your vision, because sometimes it takes time for eyes to adjust to the light.

He relented to the kiss and gave of himself what she required, his lips parting in symmetry with hers until the moment of realization collapsed.

All contests are unfair

My mom has gone out of her way in her personal life. She's been with me on the road. She's had to deal with people giving her the 'that's the mom' and arguing. Just little things as a businesswoman.

Yes, you can lose somebody overnight, yes, your whole life can be turned upside down. Life is short. It can come and go like a feather in the wind.

The remarkable position in which we find ourselves is that we don't actually know what we actually know.

If the headline is a good one, it is a relatively simple matter to write the copy.

The devolution of American culture takes another great step forward

I'm used to writing stories with a beginning a middle and an end in four minutes.