To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

There are places where you can live only when you are healthy, in those places when you fall ill it's the end of you for most people there can’t afford medical care.

The enemy for the fanatic is pleasure, which makes it extremely important to continue to indulge in pleasure. Dance madly. That is how you get rid of terrorism.

War is a series of catastrophes which result in victory.

I'm a commercial person, not an academic.

Embracing yourself is important and I wish that all women would realize how beautiful they are, inside and out.

Some women destroy all your sensibility towards them by their coldness, others by their heat.

But the paparazzi are quite malicious and vocal and really rude, ... And they camped outside of my house, so I started throwing eggs at them, lobbing them at rocks next to them.

The great challenge for the garden designer is not to make the garden look natural, but to make the garden so that the people in it will feel natural.

An actor's career relies on a lot of luck. Being in the right place at the right time.

As success converts treason into legitimacy, so belief converts fiction into fact, and "nothing is but what is not.