This is a lovely party," said the Bursar to a chair, "I wish I was here.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

The tendency to trust easily anyone gives way to a certain vulnerability.

A role model can teach you to love and respect yourself.

I never accepted the idea that I was all through. I guess no person who has once been a star can do that, ever.

it is a lean employment of time to brood on what might have happened along some other turning.

All people seem to want to talk about is the current Ashes series, and whether England are going to reverse the trend of recent series.

Self-confidence is nothing more than belief in one’s ability to decide and in one’s decisions.

The strongest thing that baseball has going for it today are its yesterdays.

For me, trying to expand the energy to make one movie in Hollywood would be the equivalent in terms of energy to making 10 movies in Japan.

Cash-payment is not the sole nexus of man with man.

Ninety-nine percent of the people in the world are fools and the rest of us are in great danger of contagion.