There's nowhere I won't go. As long as it's horribly, horribly true and/or wrong.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

whispers are often thunderous

God’s way of thinking should become our way of thinking

We all know what needs to be done - it's the doing it that is the challenge!

You are happiest when you are most humble. You are most miserable when you are egotistical.

If I want to, I can sign 20 films for ridiculous amounts of money, but I really want to do different kinds of cinema. I want creative satisfaction.

Anytime you have to rely upon your enemy for a job you're in bad shape.

I'm just about that action, boss. I ain't ever see no talking win me nothin'.

I'm a strong person. I'm a warrior and I know what is inside of me.

It is a most unhappy state to be at a distance with God: man needs no greater infelicity than to be left to himself.

The smaller it is the heart, more hatred houses.