There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either.

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

Hand over your responses to the man who triggers them, and you have already lost the battle for self. Look beyond, and find yourself there instead.

There is freedom in forgiveness, and it's not that hard to do once you get into the habit.

Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.

It feels amazing to just be here and be able to share my jokes with the world. It's not so much about being a girl, it's about being a funny comic.

If there is to be peace in our industrial life let the employer recognize his obligation to his employees - at least to the degree set forth in existing statutes.

Nuclear power is here to stay, and we need to support a strong domestic uranium industry.

A true champion knows how to overcome doubts and manage those doubts and turn them into motivation.

My love of truth and honesty forces me to notice that the liberal intelligentsia of Western countries is betraying itself where Islam is concerned.

The most successful politician is he who says what the people are thinking most often in the loudest voice.

What could be more superstitious than the idea that money brings forth food?