There are very few comics that understand about exciting the crowd, and that's what I always prided myself on: giving a more confident macho attitude towards delivering material.

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!

When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me.

If it smells like fish its a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone.

Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!

I always just loved women, but more important than loving women, more important than sexual stuff, is I always believed in romance.

I've been getting in trouble my whole life and I really don't care what anybody thinks of what I do on stage as a comic.

I'll always push myself because that's the journey of life. We do go through things. Some of it's incredibly great and some of it's really bad.

Even as a stage performer, I have my garb which is leather jackets and black jeans to make me feel a certain way. The wardrobe is really important to feeling the character you're playing.

I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really.

If Lady Gaga didn't put on all those outfits, she probably wouldn't have made it in show business. She put a show behind her voice.

Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose.

I have no right to judge anyone, but I have the right to love everyone.

In the future, each of us must have the courage to follow our gift or to be engaged in a favorite occupation, even if it does not bring you any income at the moment

Important principles may and must be flexible.

I want my clothes to have a life and then end up in a secondhand store, where some cool girl discovers them 20 years later. If the runway or red carpet is the only life clothes have, it's sad.

When men think much, they can rarely decide.

A 99% Value-at-Risk calculation does not evaluate what happens in the last one percent... This is like an airbag that works all the time, except when you have a car accident.

I am convinced the next major attack against the United States may well be conducted by people with Asian or African faces, not the ones that many Americans are alert to.

I was very disciplined when home - lights out for the girls at 9:00, two hours of writing for me. It was murder on my marriage.

The only way to stay in fashion is never be in. If you are never in fashion, you are never out of fashion.