The writers are the stars of every really successful sitcom.

People forget the good that zoos do. If it weren't for zoos, we would have so many species that would be extinct today.

If the guy's a cutie, you've gotta tap that booty.

I'm a teenager trapped in an old body.

I may be a senior, but so what? I'm still hot.

Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment

Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.

If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble.

Get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep. 9 if you're ugly.

We didn’t have Facebook in my day, we had a phone book but you wouldn’t waste an afternoon on it

I don't know how people get so anti-something. Just mind your own business, take care of your own affairs, and don't worry about other people so much.

Giving up drinking for life is easy.I've done it loads of times.

I begin to wonder if David was like me. Seeing monsters everywhere and realizing there aren't enough slingshots in the world to get rid of them.

There are, first of all, two kinds of authors: those who write for the subject's sake, and those who write for writing's sake.

It is a very strange thing, to be in love. It changes you.

You always have to know what the ambition of the scene is, what the purpose of that scene is in the telling of the story overall, so that you're there to support the story.

Nothing is so dear as what you're about to leave.

Some nights stay up till dawn, as the moon sometimes does for the sun. Be a full bucket pulled up the dark way of a well, then lifted out into light.

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Hope is not mere wishful thinking. It is the precursor of a new dawn that slowly, steadily and unerringly comes to the fore and eventually grows into reality's existence.

I'm like Muhammed Ali. When he said he would knock someone out in the fourth round, he did it.