The thing is, I hate political comedy. I personally loathe it.

The thing is - I'm not an idiot. I'm rather intelligent, as proven by the fact that I just used the word 'rather' in a sentence.

Michael Jackson's charity efforts? Mmm. I'm sure they have nothing to do with his molestation charges.

I was told by a physician to avoid any line of work where people need to, um, depend on me for anything.

The Smurf village was destroyed weeks ago and Bush has still not made an appearance. George Bush doesn't care about tiny blue people.

America may be entering it’s Michael Jordan on the Wizards period.

There comes a point where the disappointments in your life accrue faster than you can find external forces to blame them on.

I haven't had a drink in twelve days and I've gotta say, I'm pretty shocked at how boring people are.

I used to play bass for a while and got to the point where I was good enough to be in a shitty band.

You rarely hear anyone use the word pancreas in a not-horrible context.

Canada, or as i call them, America Light.

Pete's a good guy.""He just slept with my mother!""I didn't say he was perfect.

In an economic recession, naturally, when you ask people to list their priorities, they're going to place a higher priority on the immediate economic situation.

You cannot evade quantity. You may fly to poetry and music, and quantity and number will face you in your rhythms and your octaves.

What is meant by its nature for the highest and the best, spreads among the lowly people.

It's very rare that publications double their frequency.

Who does not love his own tongue is far worse than a brute or stinking fish.

Playful arising is authorized by both risk and trust in the process and in oneself. To be truly playful and improvisational one must not look for results.

And it's been proved that soldiers don't go mad Unless they lose control of ugly thoughts That drive them out to jabber among the trees.

The only goal is the decency of means.

To escape the cycle of tragedy, we (searchers) have to be tough on the ideas of the planners, even while we salute their goodwill.