The strangest thing about writing a sitcom, is never knowing if it will become anything but words on a page.

Health food shops can make people feel very important; it's like a brand new religion with people trying to convert you to quinoa.

I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex, so he knows what rejection feels like.

A problem shared is attention gained.

Until I was about 14, I was a fat boy, or at least I looked like a fat boy. I think that being funny was a bit of a defence mechanism for me, so I ended up being a bit of a joker.

I don't know if I was funny as a child, though I always thought my parents really enjoyed listening to me sing.

I knew 'Be Our Guest' would be performed on a set and in costume, but anyone with a history in Theatre In Education will know that can mean anything.

I was a precocious child.

If you had of told me age 10 that in 19 years time I would be on a stage in Salford performing with Les Dennis in a sitcom I had written, I would have believed you.

To know is to memorize.To understand is to utilize.The accumulation of knowledge is learnedness.The accumulation of wisdom is experience.

I'm one of the few persons I ever met who are able to learn from experience.

The society of women is the foundation of good manners.

There is much money given to be laughed at, though the purchasers don't know it; witness A.'s fine horse, and B.'s fine house.

Today for the first time, at least in this country, you don't have to use those powers to survive. Our societal structure now provides the possibility to survive without using sexual manipulation.

Unless one says goodbye to what one loves, and unless one travels to completely new territories, one can expect merely a long wearing away of oneself and an eventual extinction.

Even more precious is his Edward writes, I'm always saying that it is not the spirits who are getting it wrong; it's more likely that I am misinterpreting their messages.

The end of knowledge is wisdom The end of culture is perfection The end of wisdom is freedom The end of education is character. And character consists of eagerness to renounce one's selfish greed.

When it's raining pudding, hold up your bowl.

I was really surprised when I started working and realized that you're actually on your own, a lot of the time. It makes you really responsible, as an actor.