The straight man has to know to relate to the comic. When I think of the great comedy teams, I think of Martin & Lewis, Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello.

A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

I love people and entertaining. The fact I can still do it, and it's with my wife is phenomenal. I wanna reach 95 years!

If a man works like a horse for his money, there are a lot of girls anxious to take him down the bridal path.

When I go see a performer, I don't go to criticize. I just go to be entertained. I don't go to give advice; I just go to enjoy.

I will love with all my soul.

People often believed they were safer in the light, thinking monsters only came out at night.

If the Poe Lock were ever rendered unusable due to a terrorist attack or natural disaster, it would halt commerce on the Great Lakes and these industries would be helpless.

Sometimes you lose some tournaments you should win and you win some you should lose.

Wisdom is one thing, to know how to make true judgment, how all things are steered through all things.

I think fame is something that you've achieved in your inner self that becomes known to others outside you. There are really very few famous people in history.

Sold my soul to the devil, made a profit.

You have to specialize the product.

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man is in fact the gestation of a soul.

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end'. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.