The response you get when you're young like "oh you're just getting laughs because you're a little kid and you're cute". They weren't trying to encourage me at all or tell me to keep pursuing this.

I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could've had a piece of cake tonight.

There's 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There's big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn.

Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were?

I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.

Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run.

Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years.

With all the classes they offer at school, how come they don't have one for common sense?

When you go to Hawaii, it's all about "Aloha." It means hello, goodbye and I love you.

You live by the cake, you die by the cake.

I had to travel half way across the world to be called an American.

Writing has nothing to do with meaning. It has to do with landsurveying and cartography, including the mapping of countries yet to come.

It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.

Education helps us to grow wings of imagination that allow us to feel free and fly.

Happy is the son whose faith in his mother remains unchallenged.

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.

A thought, once uttered, is untrue

What is Christian in art does not lie in the theme but in the spirit of it, in its wisdom and the understanding of reality it reflects.

It is disgusting -- Why must we have bodies?

I like most of the Humphrey Bogart movies because they had to act then, and they acted very well. Edward G. Robinson is probably the best actor I've ever seen on the movies.

The only works of righteousness that serve to justify a sinner are the works of Christ.