The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.

Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.

Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.

Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.

It was never about the world being too big, it was more like she was too much for the world to handle.

If we danced and shared music, we'd be too busy en-joy-in' life to start a war.

The piano ain't got no wrong notes.

Healing begins where the wound was made.

Human beings have survived for millennia because most of us make good decisions about our health most of the time.

You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

You may lack will power, but that doesn't mean you can't take a lot of steps to make yourself more productive.

The Democrats smell blood and don't want to be told that it's their own.

God alone is the author of all the motions in the world.

When I was younger, I would eat everything.