The real name for 'science' is magic.

You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.

The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.

Thank your readers and the critics who praise you, and then ignore them. Write for the most intelligent, wittiest, wisest audience in the universe: Write to please yourself.

I don't mind you thinking I'm stupid, but don't talk to me like I'm stupid.

K is for "Kenghis Khan"; He was a very nice person. History has no record of him. There is a moral in that, somewhere.

In these days of widespread illiteracy, functional illiteracy... anything that keeps people stupid is a felony.

The world is turning into a cesspool of imbeciles.

You must never be afraid to go there.

They minute people fall in love they become liars.

Posing the question: does the god of love use underarm deodorant, vaginal spray and fluoride toothpaste?

It does not matter how long it takes to reach the goal. With persistent focus, commitment and enthusiasm, you will make it a reality.

Tell me half a cup’s worth of story and we’ll call it a night.

I love the start of autumn when the trees in my garden change the colour of their leaves in one last dazzling display.

It is when God appears to have abandoned us that we must abandon ourselves most wholly to God.

I never agree with Communists or any other kind of kept men.

Your luck goes up and down like swings and roundabouts

Life isn't always a butcher's game. Sometimes the prizes are real. Sometimes they're precious.

That's the core puzzling experience, when you meet the Other organized as a speaking mind.

Do you think there’s anything to eat in this forest?” “Yes,” said the wizard bitterly, “us.

There is nothing more to be esteemed than a manly firmness and decision of character.