The only time a bachelor's bed is made is when it's in the factory.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Look at that party the other night. Everybody wanted to have a good time and tried real hard but we all woke up the next day feeling sorta sad and separate.

The challenge of modern relationships: how to prove more interesting than the other's smartphone.

Artists are like everybody else.

Cartoons are windows into the human condition.

Imagination allows you to think of the journey worth making. Motivation gets you started. But, it's patience and perseverance that get you there.

Philip Martin has written a wise, compassionate, and nurturing guide through the self-oppression of depression.

Science progresses not because scientists as a whole are passionately open-minded but because different scientists are passionately closed-minded about different things.

I was a lost child. I wasn't accepted in the black community because I was Korean, and I wasn't accepted in the Korean community because I was black

Music is the tonal analogue of emotive life.

[E]mpathy - not squishy self-serving conflict avoidance - is the hand-maiden, not the enemy, of reason and intellectual inquiry.