The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell.

People always want to compare their dogs to having kids. That's insulting. First of all, nobody has a dog because they were too drunk to pull out.

It's all about self-esteem now. Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who's gonna dance in our strip-clubs?

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. If Bill Gates had got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?

You try not to have a favorite when you have sons or kids. Can't have a favorite. Can't let them know know if you do. I don't. I treat my main son and the other two exactly the same way.

In catholisism we have an entire religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story

If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.

People come to this country from all over the world to pursue their dreams of driving a taxi or selling hot dogs or working in a sweatshop.

Seventy-two virgins - does that make sense to anyone? And it's an ancient religion, maybe it was misinterpreted? Maybe it's not 72 virgins, maybe it's a 7-foot-2 Persian.

I like when people give up chocolate for Lent. Ooh, just like being nailed to a cross.

We're a spoiled, lazy culture, full of ethnic pride that has to have a parade for every nationality.

Tell me Zach.” I don’t know if it was the wind or the adrenaline, but I shivered. “And don’t lie to me.

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else

Other blokes might take advantage, but to Tom, the idea of honor was a kind of antidote to some of the things he'd lived through.

When men grow virtuous in their old age they only make a sacrifice to God of the devil's leavings.

Sure you do. Everyone wants to play. They’re just afraid of looking stupid. But you know what’s stupid? Not trying. So just…try.

Viper: "The dark wizard and I had a mild disagreement." Dante: "What sort of disagreement?" Viper: "I thought he should be dead and he disagreed.

No one ever regarded the first of January with indifference.

In moviemaking, you learn to pay attention to detail, because so much is in the detail. And when you're shooting, you try to be very alert to what's going on, even if you're tired.

People in love look into each other's souls, and it is that feeling that I try to capture when I sing.

The relationship of humans to nature. We are sadly divorced from it.