The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin with a grin.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

My definition for GOD that works for me is “Pure Energy, Supreme Consciousness.” The highest resolution of pure energy we use is the sensation we call “love.

Mostly the greedy rich is responsible for the poor’s poverty!

Change is the principal feature of our age and literature should explore how people deal with it. The best science fiction does that, head-on.

Life begins when you do.

Being an entertainer includes knowing how to connect with an audience.

Sweet is war to those who know it not.

What would I do without you? You're never going to find out.

A couple of things for the not-so-diminutive man: avoid any prints that are large scale, because you will look like the print is wearing you, as opposed to you wearing the print.

A schoolmaster should have an atmosphere of awe, and walk wonderingly, as if he was amazed at being himself.

Once in a while, people enter our lives and lessen the loneliness of being away from Home.