The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.

I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

I am really bad at actually interviewing people.

In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints

I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.

The BBC is a victim of its own independence.

I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything.

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

In this universe, all we perceive is a virtual reality created by the neurons.

A mothers Love is as deep and powerful as any ocean, in the depths of it forgiveness forever is found for her wandering child.

Just get it right, “it is not too late to dream”. You can do it now! This very moment, I mean right now! Let’s begin!

I spread eggshells all over my room, so anyone who tries to get close when I sleep will know what they're walking on

Followers can't give new ideas and never be a leader.

I am speaking of something deeper. I am speaking of everything a being can give another. This is what I offer you. I offer myself.

The Dolls were an attitude. If nothing else they were a great attitude.

You feel the pressure of going to university because you need a back-up plan, which is why I enrolled.

...it is seldom indeed that a composition which was poor when the picture was taken can be improved by reshaping it in the dark room.

Freedom so often means that one isn't needed anywhere.