The liberation of the human mind has never been furthered by dunderheads.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Calculus is one course you can come with to your parents and say, I am dropping it. And they'll understand.

A roast is like a get-together where people come down and talk about you and dog you out, the way you came up, the knucklehead things that you did, stuff like that.

You must feel what you're singing, not just have a good presentation of the language.

The word diva has a negative connotation.

Walking into a room filled with people you don't know but who know you brings out your worst vulnerabilities.

Play doesn't have to be the opposite of work.

Only the most lucid can see their love as comedy.

We're never going to escape the idea of being young. Which I don't mind myself. I mean, who wants to grow up anyway?

Get out of your head and get into your heart. Think less, feel more.

I actually think every individual is now an entrepreneur, whether they recognize it or not.