The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Too slow for those who wait Too swift for those who fear Too long for those who grieve Too short for those who rejoice. But for those who love time is not.

I absolutely don't believe in anything. Full stop. Including luck.

There are many cases of these algebras which may obviously be combined into natural classes, but the consideration of this portion of the subject will be reserved to subsequent researches.

Once a blooming red rose, full of streaming life in its veins. Now a wilting black petal rupturing with death and pain.

If you don't kick things around with people, you are out of it. Nobody, I always say, can be anybody without somebody being around.

Sometimes you have to put your fears in order.

Let others either envy or pity me; I care not, so long as I enjoy myself.

A bully is not reasonable - he is persuaded only by threats.

The usual criticism of a novel about an artist is that, no matter how real he is as a man, he is not real to us as an artist, since we have to take on trust the works of art he produces.

Forever is not a word...rather a place where two lovers go when true love takes them there.