The important thing about adventures, thought Mr. Bunnsy, was that they shouldn't be so long as to make you miss mealtimes.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

The mind never has anything new to say-all it knows is of the past.

Want the mistress of invention.

The world is a comedy to those who think a tragedy to those who feel.

I'm not afraid of storms for I'm learning how to sail my ship.

I love theater. I love sitting in an audience and having the actors right there, playing out what it means to be a human being.

Though we tremble before uncertain futures may we meet illness, death and adversity with strength may we dance in the face of our fears.

That which is usually called dotage is not the weak point of all old men, but only of such as are distinguished by their levity.

I don't have to talk. My record speaks for itself.

A lot of people are surprised to hear that an actor studied for two or three years. They take the craft for granted and wanna just wake up and be an actor.

That's the easiest 69 I ever made.