The big one was at least cute, and as annoying as she was, you couldn't get mad at a golden retriever.

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.

My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.

Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.

He is ugly and sad... but he is all love.

It is easy to conform, but it takes great courage to stand up for peace.

Truth is only sweet to the ears only after a person is sick of drinking the vinegar of repeated failures.

I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'

There are many, and there will be many, who will gladly purchase eternal life for a small price, if they see that others are fighting for God in earnest, rather than pretending to do so.

The love of fame puts spurs to the mind

God is not going to negotiate His holiness... in order to accommodate us.

Scandinavian-Danish cuisine was something quite rustic, mostly known for pastries and smorgasbord cuisine, which in itself has become a joke.

Sometimes with success comes some crazy that goes along with it.

I'm not sure that some of the food purists are in touch with what really goes on in American households.