I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.

My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.

Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.

The big one was at least cute, and as annoying as she was, you couldn't get mad at a golden retriever.

There was a young girl named Ratchet.She had skill and no one could match it.She wanted to beMore stylish and carefree, But she couldn't give up her Ratchet.

Whenever I get married, it will be a Bengali wedding. If I won't have a Bengali wedding, my mother won't come. She has warned me. So, I am going to have a Bengali wedding for sure.

When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it's funny in any language.

Sometimes I wondered whether I hadn't let my career get confined to one direction, but lately I've decided to accept the fact that I have this opportunity to be successful doing comedies.

I told her the world was full of nice people. I'd have hated to try to prove it to her, but I said it, anyway.

The great danger... in believing yourself especially chosen is that it becomes easy to view those who are not your people as God's especially unchosen.

I think those with knowledge of the comics may expect things that will not be happening in the movies. Those who don't know what has happened in the comics will be shocked at what we do.

I'm sympathetic to the decent and hapless footsoldier into whose lap falls the unenviable duty of carrying out fubar policies.

Welcome to the U.S. Capitol: Watch for falling expectations.

Sweet are the uses of adversity which, like the toad, ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in his head.