The Simpsons take up so little time that I'm able to do other things as well.

The nice thing is that, at least in Los Angeles, I'm known as a character actor and I do auditions for other things besides just cartoon shows.

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution!

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.

All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.

Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.

To many, Homer may appear lazy and a loser, but he's just much misguided. He's boorish, sure, but well meaning and, I guess, the one thing we have in common is the pursuit of lousy diets.

Fear manifested itself as a physical presence that seemed to dominate the public sphere. Time almost stopped. Even without confirmation I could sense that something had gone terribly wrong.

Make sure that today is better than yesterday.

The suicide-bombing community is not absolutely 100 percent religious, but it is pretty nearly 100 percent religious.

From a young age, my parents always told me and my sister how important it was as a girl to be more than just a pretty face and I think we've carried that message through out our lives.

Nobody is kind to only one person at once, but to many persons in one.

I respect knowledge of the psyche. I would be a therapist if I weren't an entertainer.

The soul yearns to fly home on the wings of love to the world of ideas. It longs to be freed from the chains of the body.

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Every child is so helpless - just to survive he has to be political, he has to accept whatsoever the parents are saying.

I was a political journalist; I came to writing novels through an interest in politics and power.