Take your love and put it where the sun don't shine.

George Jones may be gone but his music will live on forever. What a great voice and a great friend.

Osama, yo Mama didn't raise you right. When you were young, she must have wrapped your turban too tight.

Everything is beautiful in its own way.

People will remember a good comedy song a lot longer than they would some of the so-called straight love songs.

The human brain is a funny thing: it's very susceptible to tempo and melody. You put the right words to it, and it becomes very influential.

Whatever you think, don't never, unless you will.

Do you qualify to be alive or is the limit of your senses so as to survive?

I had no idea that I could sustain a career as an artist. But, I loved music and wanted to be in the music business.

If 10% is good enough for Jesus, it oughta be enough for Uncle Sam.

Take the wonder drug that cures all your ills, take Jeremiah Peabody's polyunsaturated, quick dissolving, fast acting, pleasant tasting, green and purple pills.

Every time you ask for forgiveness, you declare that your life does not belong to you, but has been created for the purpose of Another.

...all a guy can do is die once. The big difference is whether he dies clean - or dirty... ("I'm Dangerous Tonight")

Nobody special had come around to replace Duane, and she was moping, going to bed alone every night with a box of Velveeta and a fork.

Change generally pleases the rich. [Lat., Plerumque gratae divitibus vices.]

Success is empty if you arrive at the finish line alone.

This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich kid worth $300M. I have three words for this guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We send her over there, she'll get his money, he'll be dead in a week.

The New York School poets are my godfathers creatively.

I think, am sure, a brother's love exceeds All the world's loves in its unworldliness.

We are prone to see what lies behind our eyes, rather than what apprears before them.

The goal of this presentation is to impress, rather than inform.