Sorry I painted the word 'twat' on your garage door.

I'm never really that worried about doing something a little different, 'cause it always just seems to fit into what I want to do.

I like comedy but I guess I don't think [my art] is that funny, either. It's too dark and a bit weird in places to be genuinely, uniformly hilarious and function as comedy.

I'm not pretending to be somebody who's got really limited craft skills. I just am a person who's got really limited craft skills.

I'm definitely not an outsider artist. I'm very much an insider artist. I get written about in art magazines, and I'm not, like, in a mental institution. I'm a regular guy who went to art school.

I never sat down and decided to make work about life and death. It just all comes out of my head like water pouring out of a jug.

I don't like theorizing about my work myself, but that's not to say I have no interest in theory. Other people are free to say what they want about my work.

If the work jells a little bit in terms of being placed in the oeuvre, I don't care - as long as it works.

I don't think I've ever made any conscious decision to be a comic artist, but to me there's something quite anarchic about comedy.

I think my books are better than my exhibitions. If people don't like my books then I don't mind. I guess you like them enough to write an essay about them so that makes me pretty happy.

The camera is an eye that sees and records the lives of filthy people. Its pictures are hung in museums and published in thick books that future generations can see how horrible life was.

Daring life!

Life at best is bittersweet.

The 'Big Bang' idea of pseudo armchair pundits, too is as much a theory as a human-like big buffoon, that your so-called 'holy' books call god.

To smile sincerely is acceptable after making mistakes – that is the best way to feel cheerful and repeat the same mistakes.

I have a very young brother and sister, and if you can get a kid singing the words to a song after they heard it for the first time, it's a hit.

Movies don't necessarily change culture. I don't know if we know for sure if movies change culture but we know for sure that they reflect culture.

We become what we look at most.

Our political institutions work remarkably well. They are designed to clang against each other. The noise is democracy at work.

People learn twenty-five percent from their teacher, twenty-five percent from listening to themselves, twenty-five percent from their friends, and twenty-five percent from time.

That wasn't good, that wasn't sportsmanship. I was amazed he took that shot.