Sometimes your dreams come true, and its a real drag.

I'm not on this earth to be a goalie. I'm not here to stop somebody from accomplishing their goals. If you're not hurting anybody, I'm here to either assist or get out of the way

I eat the same way Doc Brown fuels the DeLorean at the end of Back to the Future.

It's a Vietnamese soup that answers the question, 'What happens when a former child soldier pours hot rain water over fish nightmares.' It's delicious and I can't stop eating it, that's what happens.

I was raised Catholic in the Midwest, so I cant enjoy anything.

What is there to say about ChUC other than it's a comedy show done the right way in the right space. Fantastic comics, welcoming audience. Always great.

I am somehow allowed by the universe to do exactly what I want to do to make a living.

The time that I have on this earth should just be filled with good times.

Comedy doesn't have to be loud and obnoxious and beat you over the head. It can be this really small detail that, when it computes in your brain, you think, "That's great. That's masterful."

Young writers take themselves very seriously in college.

I'm lucky I'm a comedian, 'cause otherwise my life would just be a series of undocumented low points.

You keep shooting. You hope it goes in, and you smile.

I always want to set myself a challenge by doing something no-one would expect me to do! But, having said that, I don't feel as a musician you can steer too far away from what you normally do.

I am never unhappy, you can achieve that as well.

And in spite of all the mastery we've attained, we don't have enough mastery to stop devastating the world, or to repair the devastation we've already wrought.

Romance is important, but to have a friend you can use as a mirror, who can give you an objective response, that's what's really important.

The greater part of critics are parasites, who, if nothing had been written, would find nothing to write.

Life would be so much harder if I had to lie about who I was.

Dinosaurs are the best way to teach kids, and adults, the immensity of geologic time.

One thing I do know, you can't change hatred by showing those people that they're wrong about us.

I always tell myself, When Im working on my record, I wont cut my hair. I get so focused on the music that Im not really going to the hair shop and getting cut up. I just have one thing to focus on.