I am somehow allowed by the universe to do exactly what I want to do to make a living.

I'm not on this earth to be a goalie. I'm not here to stop somebody from accomplishing their goals. If you're not hurting anybody, I'm here to either assist or get out of the way

I eat the same way Doc Brown fuels the DeLorean at the end of Back to the Future.

It's a Vietnamese soup that answers the question, 'What happens when a former child soldier pours hot rain water over fish nightmares.' It's delicious and I can't stop eating it, that's what happens.

I was raised Catholic in the Midwest, so I cant enjoy anything.

What is there to say about ChUC other than it's a comedy show done the right way in the right space. Fantastic comics, welcoming audience. Always great.

Sometimes your dreams come true, and its a real drag.

The time that I have on this earth should just be filled with good times.

Comedy doesn't have to be loud and obnoxious and beat you over the head. It can be this really small detail that, when it computes in your brain, you think, "That's great. That's masterful."

Young writers take themselves very seriously in college.

I'm lucky I'm a comedian, 'cause otherwise my life would just be a series of undocumented low points.

You can touch the moon if you really want to do it.

Truth is a kaleidoscope - it alters with perspective

So there we have it. I get up in the morning determined to do something approximating to the right thing, and with in two hours find something to feel guilty about.

Christian hands never clasp and He doesn't give gifts for gain because a gift can never stop being a gift - it is always meant to be given.

I love kids and I maintain that they are our future, that we adults owe them the ability to achieve their potential and that we don't own this planet. We hold it in trust for them.

I had to learn how to become a real actor, I had to suffer and be rejected and face that 100 times just like every actor. It wasn't like someone handed it to me

I would like television to produce some itching pills rather than this endless outpouring of tranquilizers.

Nobody would ever want to read a textbook about the Civil War and then interrupt that for two pages about water rights in the west.

I always tried to turn every disaster into an opportunity.

Friendship is not possible between two women one of whom is very well dressed.