Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

I hope suffering don't exist.

Read and search for the answers you seek.

I am aware that true miracles, things unexplained by human reason, can only occur when Jesus does them.

You can lead a man up to the university but you can't make him think.

I think that there is something in the human psyche, that when it approaches a big mark up point it tends to get doom laden.

[Michelle Malkin] has been supporting a party which includes most of the idiots in this country who would judge her entirely and exclusively on her [Filipino] appearance.

A wise man will live as much within his wit as within his income.

I know American football. I know a little bit about soccer. I know baseball, I know basketball. But, rugby is a foreign language.

Unless there is meaningful change in Syria and an end to the crackdown, President Assad and those around him will find themselves isolated internationally and discredited within Syria.