Sitting in a room being forced to listen to 'The Chanukah Song' over and over." [on his idea of Hell]

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

The hour of our release draws near.

This is God's beauty!The Elegant nature of Esther, The Meek nature of Moses, The Pius nature of Paul, The Passionate nature of Peter, The Just nature of Jesus and thenThe wise nature of you!

Two is always better than one.

There are more useful systems developed in languages deemed awful than in languages praised for being beautiful - many more.

I'm responsible for what people see and what they hear.

Good design means as little design as possible.

Make tawba not just for sins you've committed, but also for obligations you haven't fulfilled.

Psychotics are consistently inconsistent. The essence of sanity is to be inconsistently inconsistent.

I pretty much believe that a film is a film and when an audience watches a film, they finish it.

If we learned all we needed to know in kindergarten, it was promptly drummed out of us in first grade.