Repent or be damned! If you have already repented, please disregard this notice.

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

Any political party that includes the word 'democratic' in its name, isn't.

A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.

The only difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk.

Yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life . . . and you messed it up again.

Tell your boss what you really think about him and the truth shall set you free.

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.

Being irrational and out of control is what happens in real life. Not cautiously choreographing your anger or your emotions, losing yourself in them is what happens in real life.

Most of society's decision making for young people happens without young people, and that could not happen without adultcentrism.

I think, clearly, we got to work closely with China to resolve the serious problems we have, and I worry about Putin and his military adventurism in the Crimea and the Ukraine.

Jane Austen is the feminine Peter Pan of letters. She never grew up.

It's the Democrats whose position is that the only problem in Washington, D.C., is the peasants aren't sending enough cash in for the king to spend.

I'm hoping my children will save me from my vanity. If it doesn't, plastic surgery is an option... It sucks to have to grow older. We all have to accept it.

I would say 90 percent of Christians do not have a worldview, in other words a view of the world, based on the Scripture and a relationship with God.

Voting is not the most you can do; it's really the least you can do.

I am Hualapai. We are located in Northern Arizona, at the Grand Canyon. We own the Skywalk area.

Well Mandira, I hope not. You see, I started both their careers. And as far as i can remember, I started yours too.