Any political party that includes the word 'democratic' in its name, isn't.

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.

The only difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk.

Repent or be damned! If you have already repented, please disregard this notice.

Yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life . . . and you messed it up again.

Tell your boss what you really think about him and the truth shall set you free.

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.

If you value your time, You'll get some reasons to smile in return.

Statements make sense for somebody who needs advice. I’m not giving advice. I don’t instruct. At my best, I delight. That’s my job.

Hands move rocks

A marriage is not primarily a duet but a holy trio.

Some people awaken spiritually without ever coming into contact with any meditation technique or any spiritual teaching. They may awaken simply because they can't stand the suffering anymore.

As the interned American citizens of Japanese descent learned, the Bill of Rights provided them with little protection when it was needed.

There isn't an agony in the world more powerful than tenderness

I said with perfect honest, "I have no intention of trying to take these suckers out by myself, no.

I live for Pilates reformer class. I go at least three times a week. It's a great way to lengthen your muscles, stretch, and kind of relax your mind.

Museums, I love museums.