QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

This poetry. I never know what I'm going to say.I don't plan it.When I'm outside the saying of it, I get very quiet and rarely speak at all.

The home is the centre and circumference, the start and the finish, of most of our lives.

I am convinced that great ideas that are powerfully presented can change a mind in five minutes.

Yes, it benefits the planet, but I don't lead with the green message anymore because I think there's a more evergreen way to look at it, which is efficiency.

When a person with money meets a person with experience, the person with the experience winds up with the money and the person with the money winds up with the experience.

After having exhausted all the arguments on behalf of evil, one utters the creed's dictums with nostalgia rather than with fervor.

Virtually all of the civil laws in all of the world's societies are based on what humanity, in the earliest days, believed to be God's Law.

There's a rumor going around that I'm Miss Goody-two-shoes from Australia. Well, that's a laugh. I'm really Miss Goody-two-shoes from England!

I never actually expected success, but it doesn't surprise me when it comes because I know how much work I put into what I do.

I came to think of myself, not as a dance and chaos of molecules, but as a brief and minute portion of that majestic process