Put God and me in a cage, what do you think who will win. God, because I created him.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

When I die and go to heaven, to St. Peter, I will tell: "one more soldier reporting for duty, sir. I've served my time in hell.

The Church will pray to God for the dead. The survivor has honour and glory.

Not to decide is to decide not to, nowhere in the bible does it promise tomorrow.

I guess I'm just a heart-on-sleeve type of human being.

When I was younger I was obsessed with writing, so even if I wanted to listen, I didnt have time.

A woman's spirit blossoms in the colors of her soul.

He that would live clear of envy must lay his finger on his mouth, and keep his hand out of the ink-pot.

The blue states we were able to turn red and basically haven't been red since Ronald Reagan. I think ObamaCare was the bigger hit.

Much speech is one thing, well-timed speech is another.

The novel is very much alive, indeed. In Toronto at the Sixth Annual International Festival of Authors (October 1985) I listened to novelists by the dozen.