Probably the last man who knew how it worked had been tortured to death years before. Or as soon as it was installed. Killing the creator was a traditional method of patent-protection.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

You got a God. Don't make no difference if you don' know what he looks like.

There are just some things that are outside of comprehension, even if we can quantify them. At some point, science becomes magic.

A milli-Helen is enough beauty to launch exactly one ship

I don't like the life here in New York. There is no greenery. It would make a stone sick.

I think that to acknowledge a new generation is to acknowledge some degree of obsolescence in yourself, and that is very hard to do and often comes with undeniable anger.

I don't use backing tapes when I am singing and dancing on stage. I can do cartwheels and sing.

In my freshman year in high school, I went to the only public high school in Boston with a theatre program.

Cam had once told her that the Rom believed the entire world was their home. As long as you were with your family you were home.

Revolutions go not backward.

The toad beneath the harrow knows Exactly where each tooth point goes.