Plot exposition that can be gently wound out by the authorial voice and internal monologue of a character in the length of a page has to be delivered in a matter of seconds on the stage.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

...things are the way they are in our universe because if they weren't, we wouldn't be here to notice.

Playwriting is an oral art; it's not an art of a writer expecting to be read but a writer expecting to be heard.

People see me and they squeal like tropical birds or seals stranded on the beach.

There is no one quite as angry as someone who has just lost a lot of money.

I never was content unless I was trying my skill...or testing my endurance.

Why try to fit in when you a stand out?

The greatest difficulty always comes right before the birth of a dream.

You can't very well live in a castle while your kin is on the poor side of town and barely have enough food. Some want you to get to the top and rely on you making it for them, too.

People who hate God... take it out on innocent people.

I'm enjoying my years, I'm enjoying my life, I'm enjoying my family. I'm just happy - a happy person.