PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Let your light shine as an inspiration to humanity and BE THE REASON someone believes in the goodness of people.

People are good or half good or a quarter good, and it changes all the time- but even on the best day nobody's perfect.

It is every photographer's responsibility to discover new images and a new personal way of looking at things. If he can do this his pictures will command attention and have surprise quality.

Henry Kissinger should have the door shut in his face by every decent person and should be shamed, ostracized and excluded.

The only rule is there's only one rule: no rules.

But ...meat eating in any form, in any manner, and in any place is unconditionally and once and for all prohibited ...Meat eating I have not permitted to anyone, I do not permit, I will not permit.

I like being moved. I don't like being pushed.

The city has become a serious menace to our civilization It has a peculiar attraction for the immigrant.

The fun is having friends who help each other get free.