POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

At some point the body offers only disappointment.

...the religion of the heart is as intimate as a wish breathed to the night sky...

I don't believe in God and all that. But I am Jewish, and very proud to be so, very proud of the culture.

Foreign Ministry guys don't become agents. Party officials, the Foreign Ministry nerds, tend not to volunteer to Western intelligence agencies.

A tree is a nobler object than a prince in his coronation-robes.

Let us be terrible in order to prevent the people from being terrible themselves!

Culture arises and unfolds in and as play... culture itself bears the character of play.

To this day, if I ever meet grownups who play ukulele, I love 'em.

William Dalrymple has superseded Mark Tully as the voice of India… He may well be the greatest travel writer of his generation.

It can be demonstrated that in any society there is a distribution of religious tastes and concerns.